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What’s Your Funniest Sales Story Ever?

Posted by Tony Cole on Thu, Aug 07, 2008

I'm heading to a sales training session about 12 years ago.  It's a client in downtown Cincinnati and I've been working with them for two years.  They know me as a high energy, enthusiastic and entertaining sales trainer.  In other words I stand up, I move around, I'm engaged, I role play, we learn a lot and people make more sales.

I'm running late this one particular day so I grab a chocolate chip bran muffin (These are the best bran muffins made in the world and they are made by my wife Linda) and a bottle of Gatorade and off I go.  It is early, about 6:45 and it is dark, mid January.

As I am driving and eating I sense that something has fallen from my muffin onto my lap or more accurately under the crotch of my pants.  My best hope is that it is a piece of the bran muffin.  My worst fear is that it is a chocolate chip.

I get to the office early, thank goodness no one is there yet, and I sprint to the men's room only to discover my worst fear.  As I turn around and look at my ‘disaster khakis' (They are called this because it seems that I always come home wearing some food on them somewhere), there in exactly the right spot on the back of my pants is a notable brown spot that will easily be seen by anyone behind me.

I get to the training room, set up my flip chart with my notes, the white board with further information and then firmly plant myself in the chair at the head of the conference table and do not move for the next 3 hours.

Now I don't know what the participants thought.  Surely they had to find this strange as I never sit down during a session.  And certainly I was polite as I shook hands with them as they left.  Then and only then did I find a way back out of the office with my spot unrevealed by any of my participants,  to come home and rid myself of the disaster khakis once and for all.

So what is your funniest sales story ever?  We know that you have one!  What we're looking for here is a little fun over the next several weeks.  We would love for you to share with all those that view this blog your funniest or most embarrassing sales moment, sales call or selling situation.  After 30 days we will announce a winner for this years' "Funniest Sales Story'.

Come one, come all, let's have some fun.  As a matter of fact, I will call on our CMO, Jeni Wehrmeyer, to share her story.  It may be one of the funniest of all time.

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COMMENTS

The Lady in Red: I was selling advertising at the time and calling on our largest multi-million dollar account and negotiating their annual contract. As I was presenting the significantly increased agreement, I happened to notice that I had a rather large bump on my right thigh. Now, those of you who live in the area have experienced the attack of the cicadas and it had just occurred. All thoughts of revenue left my mind as I became completely focused on getting the cicada out from under my long red skirt. Flapping around, pulling it up, reaching under, I did finally get the cicada. And I might mention, I got the business as well. The VP asked that I handle all contract negotiations going forward!

posted @ Thursday, August 07, 2008 4:35 PM by jeni wehrmeyer


About 10 years ago I had an all day meeting with some hospital executives in Louisville, KY. I flew in to Louisville the night before in my casual clothes (jeans and tennis shoes) and thought I had packed everything, unfortunately as I was getting ready the next morning, I had my Suit, shirt, tie and belt, but no dress shoes. The only shoes I had was my tennis shoes. It is hard to look GQ with tennis shoes and a suit and tie. I had an early morning meeting and had no good choice but to go to the meeting dressed in my suit and tennis shoes.
I was very embarrassing but everyone in the room was very understanding and even shared funny travel stories of their own. At lunch time I went to a shoe store and bought a new pair of dress shoes. Ever since that experience, I created a travel “check” list and have used it ever since that experience.

posted @ Friday, August 08, 2008 11:30 AM by Gary Price


My funniest stories all seem to go back to the days when I sold knives - back in the early seventies! I included two of those stories in my book, Baseline Selling http://www.baselineselling.com. But this story ended up in the trash so I'll include it here.
I was demonstrating some steak knives to two pretty girls. As those of you who have sold these knives may remember, you handed the knife to the girl, held up a small piece of shoe leather to represent tough steak, and the girl was to simply push down with the knife and gasp at how easily the knife slid through the leather.
She totally missed the leather as the knife slide through my finger and since I wasn't looking where I should have been looking and she wasn't wearing her glasses, neither of us knew she nearly sliced my finger off until the blood was all over the place.
I asked if she had any bandages but no. She said, "just put pressure on it!" Put pressure on what? The top of my finger was hanging off.
To make a long story short, she had some paper towels and some masking tape and I was able to create a make shift bandage. I had to do it myself because she still refused to put her glasses on.
How much do you think I sold to those two girls? Can you say, "everything"?

posted @ Friday, August 08, 2008 3:49 PM by Dave Kurlan


My initial appointment with a large multi-state company was scheduled for October 31st and when I showed up, introduced myself, out came a woman dressed as a clown complete with giant shoes and a red rubber nose. Perhaps getting through my presentation with a straight face helped me win the business!

posted @ Friday, August 08, 2008 4:12 PM by Jennifer Roth


On the second week of work as a young new broker, I set up my first new business appointment. I was thrilled to be going on a new business appointment and proudly invited my mentor to join me. We arrived at the exhaust manufacture and kindly introduced ourselves and that we were here to meet with Joe. Joe responded with "I'm Joe, who wants to know?" Before we could answer, Joe says, who the F@#^ are you and continued swearing and threatening us for lying about who we are? We tried to explain, but it wasn't helping and we were quickly thrown out. Well, we actually decided it would be best if we left as the owner was picking up a piece of pipe. I guess we proved the point that it is possible to get thrown out by a prospect and at least I got the worst one out of the way early!

posted @ Friday, August 08, 2008 5:34 PM by Trevor Allan


25 years ago, I was working as a young corporate banker in Tokyo. We never had "walk-in" traffic - but one day we did - and I got the call from our receptionist. As we conducted the ritual exchange of business cards, I knew I was in for an interesting meeting. My visitor handed me a ruled 3 x 5 index card with his type written name - "Jimmy Kochi" - and nothing else. From there he presented his business plan for a railroad that required $20 billion - with a B - in financing. As I declined the opportunity, I explained that this would have required (at the time) the largest syndicated financing ever assembled. I'll never forget his two word response: "I know".

posted @ Monday, August 11, 2008 8:50 AM by Mike Dillon


I love it. Thanks for the info!

posted @ Friday, October 23, 2009 5:12 AM by Colan


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