The Role of Emotional Control in Sales Negotiations

It’s been said that the more you need a deal, the less likely you are to get it. Why? Because desperation clouds judgment. When emotions take over, sales professionals tend to make unnecessary concessions, give away value, or settle for less than what’s fair. The person who maintains the most emotional control will always have the upper hand.

To navigate sales negotiations effectively, keep these key principles in mind:

1. Want the Business, But Don’t Need It

The strongest negotiators approach sales with the mindset: “I would like this business, but I don’t need this business.” The only way to maintain this perspective is by keeping your sales pipeline full. When you have multiple opportunities in the pipeline, you’re not dependent on one deal, and that confidence translates into stronger negotiation outcomes.

2. Your Prospect is a Counterpart, Not an Adversary

Many salespeople make the mistake of viewing negotiations as a battle. In reality, the person across from you isn’t an opponent—they’re a counterpart. You want to sell something, and they want to buy something. Instead of framing negotiations as a win-lose scenario, approach them as a collaborative effort to find a solution that benefits both parties.

3. Articulate Their Position First

A powerful negotiation strategy is to clearly state your counterpart’s position before they do. This builds trust, lowers defenses, and increases the chances of reaching a favorable agreement. For example, if a prospect needs to cut costs due to budget constraints, acknowledging this upfront demonstrates empathy and understanding.

Here’s how it works:

“I understand that your company has been mandated to reduce spending by 27%. That puts pressure on you to find the best value while ensuring quality doesn’t suffer.”

By articulating their concerns, you position yourself as an ally rather than an obstacle. This approach encourages open dialogue and fosters a collaborative negotiation process.

The Bottom Line: Emotional Control Wins Deals

The key takeaways for mastering emotional control in sales negotiations are:

• Stay emotionally detached from the outcome to avoid making desperate concessions.
• Maintain a full pipeline so no single deal feels like a must-win.
• Approach the negotiation as a partnership, not a confrontation.
• Acknowledge and articulate your counterpart’s position before they do to build trust and break down resistance.

When you master emotional control, you not only improve your negotiation success rate but also build stronger, more mutually beneficial relationships. Good selling and successful negotiations!

1. Performance Management
2. Coaching for Success
3. Motivation That Works
4. Upgrading & Hiring Better Salespeople
5. Coaching an Effective Selling System 

1.) Performance Management –Performance management should not occupy a lot of time, but must be the base of everything else that a sales leader does and is the dashboard for creating a high-performance sales team. 

Performance management is a process of making sure that a sales leader: 

• Establishes consistent metrics to determine success
• Conducts 1-on-1 meetings where people self-determine what defines success and failure
• Utilizes a coaching process and methodology
• Gathers real-time information via Huddles
• Reviews, analyzes, and shares the findings of the data
• Identifies and coaches people early when they are not performing to the level they committed to

2.) Coaching for Success – Assuming an effective goal setting process and established Success Formulas for each salesperson, leaders should collect data and uncover opportunities for coaching via Huddles. Huddles include individuals reporting pre-determined critical data on a team meeting. They are an essential component for creating a high-performance sales team. Ideally, these huddles should include and lead to:

• Comparing actual performance against the agreed-to goals
• Identifying choke points in the sales process
• Determining if outcomes are a result of effort or execution
• Conducting 1-on-1 coaching sessions to help change behavior or improve skill

3.) Motivation that Works – Salespeople are motivated in various ways and it is every leader’s job to uncover if their people are intrinsically, extrinsically, or altruistically motivated. How can a leader possibly motivate someone if they don’t know what motivates them or how they are motivated to be successful? True motivators:

• Know what motivates people
• Have a strong self image
• Give recognition
• Do not accept mediocrity

4.) Upgrading & Hiring Better Salespeople – There is a big difference between talent that can succeed and talent that will succeed in selling. If a company is dependent on organic growth, then the organization needs to have data that will identify:

• If their current team has what it takes to reach current goals and grow to the next level
• If more horsepower is needed, then leaders must make sure that their new hires have the Will to Sell, Sales DNA, and appropriate Sales Competencies. Learn more with our free ebook about the 21 Core Sales Competencies - download here.

5.) Coaching an Effective Selling System – Having a staged-based selling system with milestones is one of the essential keys for creating a high-performance sales team. Too often, companies use a CRM system to gain a numeric value of the pipeline but have little other information that would provide insight into the quality of the pipeline, likelihood of closing, length of sales process, etc. Additionally, it is by analyzing this data that leaders will gain insight into the effectiveness of the individuals on their sales team.  

There is no easy route to these 5 keys to creating a high-performance sales team, but diving deeper into each component, implementing the necessary systems and processes, evaluating the data and performance activities, and regularly coaching the sales team are essential for team success.

Checklist for an Effective Sales Pitch:

• Your salespeople must be prepared. In addition to conducting industry and client research, they must prepare for the sales process. In other words, they must know what questions they are going to ask to move the sale forward, not just questions about the technical aspects of their prospect’s current position or status. Your salespeople have to anticipate the suspect's answers to those questions and be prepared with their follow-up dialog. Too many salespeople take this step for granted, thinking, "I've been in the business for __ years." They also need to be prepared for the prospect’s questions and how to respond to them. Finally, they have to be ready for curveballs and know how to handle them. Prospects always throw them, and when salespeople are unprepared, they will usually miss the opportunity to score. As a coach, this pre-call time is essential. You should have time on your calendar devoted to reviewing significant opportunity pre-call plans with all of your salespeople. Download our Pre-Call Strategy Checklist.

• Your salespeople must identify clearly what their preferred outcome is. In the book Getting to Yes, the authors explain how defining a preferred outcome helps guide salespeople through any meeting. In selling, and specifically for the initial call, most salespeople define the objective of the first call as "to get a second call." We challenge you, as a sales coach, to help your salespeople understand precisely who their target audience is and to work to disqualify prospects instead of trying to qualify them. If salespeople focus more on finding qualified opportunities, they will waste less time on prospects who are not going to buy from them. So, one aspect of an effective sales pitch is not pitching to unqualified prospects!

• Salespeople have to demonstrate their credibility and value, not by what they say, but by how they conduct themselves. They must be different, and they will do this by the questions they ask, by their focus on the prospect and what is important to them, and by their reluctance to get into a sales pitch too early. Salespeople should demonstrate their knowledge of the industry through stories, analogies, and metaphors, especially by relating how they have helped others in similar situations with effective solutions. They also showcase professionalism by asking penetrating questions and by how they don't look, act, or sound like every other salesperson that has met with this executive. As a sales coach using this checklist for effective sales pitches, how do your salespeople rank in demonstrating their value and credibility? Make sure you listen and help them develop in this area.

• Salespeople have to have the courage to ask the tough questions and have honest and sometimes difficult discussions. Your salespeople should prepare to have initial calls asking tough questions like:

  • "When you told your current provider that you were unhappy with the current situation and you were shopping to replace them, what did they say?"
  • "How will you make this decision?"
  • "When do I meet the decision-maker?"
  • "If you don't have a budget, then how will you pay for this?"
  • "If you are shopping for the lowest price, what happens if I show up and I'm not the lowest price?"
  • "When I show up to make my presentation, I need for you to be in a position to tell me ‘Yes’ or ‘No.’ What objections do you have to that process?"

• Salespeople need to leave their need for approval at the door when they leave the house or office in the morning. A strong leader can help them rewrite their mindset about how people buy in your industry. We all have a desire to be liked, to gain approval, and to feel a sense of camaraderie with our prospects and clients, but it can get in the way—especially if that need for approval is so strong that a salesperson cannot ask tough questions about budget and the current provider. As a sales coach, it is your job to practice these tough conversations with your salespeople. When they come back from a sales pitch and say, “I think they really liked what we presented,” ask them what that means exactly. Did they get a defined next step? What did they say about the decision-making process, etc.? Salespeople who have effective sales pitches on a regular basis recognize but manage their own need for approval and do not allow it to get in the way.

• Salespeople must follow a defined sales process to have consistent sales meetings that turn into effective sales pitches and then into long-term relationships. An effective selling system will guide a salesperson to fully uncover:

  • Does the prospect have compelling reasons to take action quickly? How much is the problem costing them?
  • Will they invest the time, money, and resources to solve a problem they have or the problem they see coming? Will they invest that time, money, or those resources in a timely fashion, or are they in the information-gathering mode?
  • What is the decision-making process exactly?
  • Will they move on from their current provider? Tip: Ask them to verbalize what they would say to the incumbent.
  • Will they be prepared to tell the salesperson “Yes” or “No” when the solution is presented? This is an agreed-upon step to avoid the “think it over” response.

• Salespeople have to close. That does not always mean closing the sale, but it does mean closing this step and securing a clear next step. There is always a next step, even if your salespeople are in a "one-appointment close" business. When salespeople master this step, they will have fewer meetings, and their close ratio will improve. Here are three strong closing questions that we recommend you practice with your salespeople:

  • "Do you think I understand your problem/challenge?"
  • "Do you believe I can help you with your problem/challenge?"
  • "Do you want my help?"

Want your salespeople to have more success? Follow this checklist for effective sales pitches!

These are the 10 top sales skills identified by OMG that measure the selling capabilities necessary to successfully find and guide potential customers through the sales process:

1. Hunting: Proactively and consistently look for new business by reaching out to targeted prospects.

2. Reach Decision Makers: Find a way to reach the person responsible for deciding to purchase the products or services offered, even at the risk of seeming "pushy."

3. Relationship Builder: Nurture and develop strong relationships by proactively and consistently talking with a customer until they become a friend.

4. Consultative Seller: Uncover compelling reasons for prospects and customers to buy from them by using active listening skills to ask good, tough, and timely questions.

5. Sells Value: Position themselves as a trusted advisor and provide the customer with crucial solutions unavailable elsewhere.

6. Effective at Qualifying: Ask about everything that could possibly derail an opportunity before determining that it is fully qualified.

7. Presentation Approach: Is very thoughtful about what to present, when to present, and to whom it should be presented.

8. Closing: Get a verbal agreement in advance of the expected closing call or meeting, and be certain of getting a decision.

9. Sales Process: Have a formal, staged, milestone-centric sales process that provides repeatable, predictable results.

10. Sales Technology: Daily user of CRM, frequent user of LinkedIn, and a regular user of video for sales calls and meetings.

Taking a deep dive into one of these top sales skills—Consultative Selling: How skilled are your bankers and agents at listening and questioning? Do they ask enough questions, the right questions, the tough questions? The Consultative Selling Competency means that your salespeople are doing a great job of listening and asking questions. Not only do they believe in asking questions, they believe in asking enough questions. They believe in asking powerful, robust, and crucial questions! These questions allow them to have conversations with prospects that other firms aren't having. At the end of the day, when your lenders or producers leave the call, their prospect is going to be thinking one of two things. One is, “I could have closed my eyes, and that could have been any advisor that I've ever talked to.” Or, your salespeople might cause them to think, “That was different. That was a conversation I haven't had before. And why isn't my current provider having that kind of conversation with me?” That's what it means to take a consultative approach.

What about the Qualifying skill? How thoroughly do your bankers and agents qualify an opportunity based on its ability to buy? The Qualifying Competency measures the degree to which your salespeople can sort opportunities into two different piles. The first pile is, “I've got little or no chance to catch this rabbit and win this business.” The second pile is, “I should pursue these opportunities. It makes sense, and I believe we have a shot at winning this business.” Qualifying comes down to answering a couple of different questions:

• Do we want to win this deal? • Can we win this deal? • How do we win this deal?

Great salespeople are great qualifiers. They rarely ever get fooled. They do not spend appreciable amounts of time on deals that they never ever had a chance to win. That's part of their mentality.

You can find out more about these top sales skills by reading our eBook, How Do You Know if Your Salespeople Will Sell? Click the button below to download the book for free.

There is zero doubt that being professionally and appropriately funny as can help your cause with prospects. Most prospects (like most people) have enough serious things going on in their life. They could use a smile or chuckle in their day. Of course, your use of humor must come at the right time and be received in the right way.

I see three key takeaways from comedians:

1. Preparation – We know that pre-call planning is important, which I define as you knowing the questions you will ask the prospect (and how they will likely respond), and also you knowing the questions the prospect will likely ask you (and how you will respond). If you watch a good comedian, you will see hours of preparation that went into their act. They would never get up on stage and wing it. Everything is planned. Just like a Navy SEAL, they plan their dive, and they dive their plan.
   
   
2. Storytelling – Any good joke is a story that builds to the delivery of the punchline. The story that tells the joke is building to that moment. The best jokes allow you to put yourself into the story and experience all the emotions that are typically present in a good joke. Great salespeople do the same thing. They present a story that allows the prospect to see themselves in the story… living with the same problems… finding and implementing solutions that solve those problems.
   
   
3. Embrace Failure – Most comedians started off not being as funny as they would eventually become… they had more than a few nights when they were met with a lukewarm reaction from a tough crowd. Perhaps they were even booed off a stage along the way. But they did not quit… they just kept going as they learned from their mistakes, and they chased improvement. When I am asked about the most important attribute that great sales performers possess, my answer is always relentless effort. They just keep showing up. They just keep making dials. They just keep going out to see people. It is hard to keep someone down when they keep showing up to work.

So, there you go… the next time you watch a comedian, ask yourself what you can copy into “your act.” After all, your sales success in 2025 is no laughing matter!