Back in the early seventies there was a group called The Main Ingredient. At the time, they had a hit song and the lyrics went something like this… “ So you’re heart broken, you’re sitting around moping, crying and crying. You even feel like dyin’. Well, before you do something rash, dig this- everybody plays the fool!”

In our world of selling, maybe everybody doesn't play the fool, but we know this, dealing with rejection in sales is part of the job. Everybody gets rejected. So, the question is when that happens, what happens? Does it take you two minutes, two hours, two days, two weeks to recover, or are you able to get right back into the fight? When we find people have a hard time recovering from rejection, it’s probably one of two reasons. Number one: they're way too emotionally involved in this sale. “If I don't get this sale, I'm in trouble. If I do get this sale, my year is made!”

And the second reason is people don't have the pipeline that they should have. It's not as robust and filled with other good prospects as it could be. So, when those two things happen, maybe we take the rejection a little harder than we should.

Here's a formula that I believe you can use that'll help you get past your fear and help you deal with rejection. The formula is simply this; SW³ N. And that stands for this…

Some will. Some won't. So what. Next!

Keep that mantra chanting in your head! Some of the salespeople I work with even write it down on their desk and refer to it as they’re saying goodbye to one prospect and trying to find their next opportunity. Somebody needs what you do, go find them. And when you do, don't fear rejection.  Remember SW³ N.

Building rapport in selling is really all about being caring and friendly, asking the right questions, and offering great advice and solutions.

There are 5 competencies that make a salesperson strong at developing relationships in sales.

The title of this blog is also a highly searched keyword phrase on Google. Because we always try to write about topics that salespeople want to read, we are going to focus on this very important topic of how to build rapport in sales. I want you to think about a business relationship that you have that you think highly of, recommend, and will likely never leave. For my example, I will talk about our auto servicing and repair group, Donovan’s.

We have two cars in our family so we need a good service provider and we keep our cars on a regular maintenance program, so you might say, we are good prospects for this type of service. I found Donovan’s by following the general manager Chris over from another auto servicing group that was not nearly as good or memorable, but Chris was and is!

How to build rapport – Chris has always been courteous, happy to speak to me, remembers me and my car, does not keep me on hold, asks the appropriate questions about the issue needing service, calls me with the estimate, and has the car ready on time. In essence, he delivers. I would say that these are the components of rapport with Chris: genuine friendliness – he cares, consistency in availability, delivering the service needed, and advice and recommendations simply explained. When something expensive needs to be addressed, he will tell me what it is, why it needs to be fixed, and what happens if I don’t fix it. I never feel like I am being sold but I do feel like I am being taken care of.

Read the book – Go-Givers Sell More by Bob Burg and John Mann for more on this topic. Building rapport is just part of the business process for Donovan’s – if Chris does not answer the phone, whoever does is also friendly, caring, and helpful. They have found a recipe for success and it works. All of their people follow an approach that stands out from the auto servicing crowd. Additionally, after every service, their owner texts me to ask how they did. Now that is unique! I typically do not allow texts from companies but he is very specific in his question and once I answer it, that is that. That is not marketing or selling, it is building rapport! I feel like I can call the owner of Donovan’s at any time and talk to him directly, and would bet he will be as helpful, gracious, and caring as Chris.

One last thing about how to build rapport. When my son Steven was learning to drive, I reached out to Chris and asked if one of them would be willing to spend 15-20 minutes walking him around the car, helping him to change a tire if needed, checking the air pressure in the tires, checking the oil, etc. Chris (who is also the manager) did this himself and Steven learned some very valuable things about his car. He also remembers Chris each time he takes our car in for service. Did I mention that Donovan’s is not the cheapest auto service provider? That is not what I am looking for when it comes to something we depend on every day. However, they deliver more than what's expected at a fair price. Think about your business, do you do that? Nothing builds rapport like overdelivering on a service.

We use the #1 sales assessment in the industry by Objective Management Group which defines the 21 sales core competencies needed for sales mastery. Here are the competencies for Relationship Builder:

1. Quickly develops rapport
2. The relationship is the key factor to winning business
3. Develops strong relationships over time
4. Customers follow them to new companies
5. Is extroverted

I would say that Chris and the folks at Donovan’s do a very good job on these 5 competencies, wouldn’t you? Building rapport in selling is really all about being caring and friendly, asking the right questions, and offering great advice and solutions. Think about what you and your people can do differently to build better rapport with your clients. It will extend the life of your relationships and they will tell others!

Knowing and understanding your prospect's buying motives allows you to make better decisions on whether to engage and pursue a potential sales opportunity.

Before I decided to pursue a business degree in college (yes, I know that was a long time ago), I briefly pondered studying psychology. I find some aspects of that field to be quite interesting in terms of understanding the things that drive people to make the decisions they make. In sales, I think about how to use this to understand customer buying motives. The great Dr. Sigmund Freud is credited with uncovering the pain-pleasure principle, which says that most decisions people make in their life are driven by the desire to avoid pain or obtain pleasure.

Think about that for just a minute and how far-reaching that is in your life. If you decided to get up early this morning and exercise, that was probably driven by the desire to avoid the pain of bad health. If you had a big helping of biscuits and gravy for breakfast this morning (don’t judge me) that was driven by the desire to obtain pleasure. If you are putting off having a difficult conversation with a co-worker, that is quite likely being driven by the decision to avoid the pain of a challenging discussion.

But what about your prospects? How much do you know about the buying motives of your prospects? Dr. Freud would say his pain-pleasure principle still applies. If you have been exposed to even a small amount of Anthony Cole Training Group content, then you know that we are huge believers in asking two questions of all prospects:

1. Do you have a problem?
2. Do you have to fix it?

When we teach advanced selling techniques, we go one step further – we dig into what is going to motivate that prospect to make their decision. And we know that since change is hard, the easiest thing for a prospect to do is nothing. Not making a decision is making a decision, and that decision is often influenced by taking the path of least resistance, which is to maintain the status quo.

As it turns out, your most significant competitive threat may not be coming from one of your competitors. It might be PI, what I call prospect indifference, or just keeping with the status quo. And what would motivate a prospect to make that decision? Because it is an easy decision, the prospect can avoid the pain of change as well as the change of delivering unpleasant news to the existing service provider.

Think about your prospects or customers’ buying motives on your next sales call. It will allow you to make better decisions on whether to engage with a prospect. After all, shouldn’t one of your motives be to understand your prospect’s motives?

Many people prefer purchasing things online nowadays. In fact, three-quarters of surveyed buyers prefer virtual sales over traditional sales.

If virtual selling is already part of your business strategy, you might want to ramp your efforts up. Here are 5 proven tips to help you increase virtual sales.

Image: https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1612831455359-970e23a1e4e9 Credit: Unsplash

Many people prefer purchasing things online nowadays. In fact, three-quarters of surveyed buyers prefer virtual sales over traditional sales. For buyers, this means that they can have more frequent communication with the seller because they need not meet in person. It’s also cost-effective and convenient, removing the need to leave their house or travel to purchase products or services. Lastly, purchasing online allows buyers to interact with more sellers. Through a simple call, message, or email, they can even converse with multiple sellers at once to find the best product for them.

If virtual selling is already part of your business strategy, you might want to ramp your efforts up. Here are some proven tips to help you increase virtual sales:

Acquire virtual sales training
While the time, effort, and resources needed to train people can make it a little tedious, virtual sales training is critical in increasing sales. A thought leader in relational and collaborative sciences, Keith Ferrazzi, notes how today's new virtual dynamic is an opportunity to recalibrate teams to be more collaborative and effective. With the pandemic increasing the number of prospects willing to purchase things online, virtual sales training equips employees with the right skills, such as persuasion and proper online presentation, to carry out their job more efficiently.

Repeat important points
According to neuroscientist Carmen Simon, customers will remember very little about your conversation, especially in this digital, information-filled era. They can only retain information for a few seconds at a time before it is replaced or distracted with new thoughts. This is why it's important that you repeat important points once every minute — especially if your sale is happening via a call. If you're selling products via email, repeat words that will convince them to purchase your product, such as the benefits it can give them. More often than not, your customer will remember the points you’ve made, positively impacting their purchase decision.

Practice listening
While this seems trivial, listening to what a potential customer has to say mid-sale can go a long way in convincing a lead to feel their value to your company. In fact, sales strategist Michelle Seger believes listening to your clients' thoughts and opinions is crucial, despite the consequence of a delayed agreement. This allows salespeople to know how to provide better service, explore how leads want to buy from the company, and make better deals moving forward. Knowing when to switch from selling to listening is key in securing sales.

Keep your social media platforms active
Social media is a convenient way for sales teams to potentially "seal" deals with prospects before even meeting them. After all, consumers and potential clients will visit your social media profiles before making purchasing decisions. It’s the most accessible way for them to get to know about your company and product, so these platforms must be active. As such, consistently publish relevant social media content regarding your products and services so potential clients stay informed.

Encourage product reviews
Finally, don't forget to tell your customers to leave a review if they like the product they've purchased. Product reviews can influence a potential customer’s buying decision more compared to star ratings alone. Apparently, it’s the text that makes a difference; without it, potential customers are not swayed. Thus, encourage buyers to leave a product review with their thoughts and experience. If you're selling a service, receiving a testimonial from them via email or virtual call (and posting it on your website) works just as well.

Virtual sales are becoming the preferred method of the majority of buyers. Hopefully, these tips help you satisfy leads and increase your sales.

Doing research and preparing for a prospect meeting so that you know what questions to ask is important. However, it is even more important to have a healthy level of skepticism and not assume anything about what they may or may not need.

Since Alex and her husband moved just around the corner from me and Linda, twice a week I ride my mower over to their place to mow their yard. I have time to do it, I like doing it, they are busy moving in and chasing their 21-month-old around, so why not.

Not too long ago on the way back to our house, I noticed a neighbor’s yard had not been mowed in a while.

I had a flashback to 24 years ago- Anthony, our son had a cardiac arrest and was in a coma and in Children’s hospital for over 90 days. It was the fall of the year. The grass was still growing and eventually leaves started falling. Our neighbors, without saying a word would occasionally pitch in. We would come home from an almost 24-hour a day and the grass was mowed and/or leaves were gone.

I thought that perhaps the same thing had happened to our neighbor, so I took a few moments to mow their front yard.

The next day I was driving home, drove down our street, and saw a sign that said; “Stop mowing our lawn, Karen!”

I’m not up on the whole “Karen” thing so I didn’t understand what the intended message meant. I just thought that perhaps there was a neighbor-type of dispute going on and one of the participants was named Karen. I come to find out that they were talking about me.

As I thought about it more, there are 2 sales & selling messages here:

Salespeople making assumptions. I assumed that there was a need when there wasn’t one. How often have you gone out on a call assuming that the prospect was compelled to buy something, was willing to spend money, and could fire their current relationship? Oh, you may not have assumed that in the very beginning but when:

1. 1. The prospects say they are unhappy, thinking about, considering, looking into, and you automatically start thinking they are looking to buy. This happens because you were either taught about “buying signals” or do not have a healthy skepticism of prospects.
   2. They said, “I’m the decision-maker” you took them at their word.
   3. They talked about mistakes made, lousy service, and price increases, you thought they were willing to leave the incumbent.
   4. The prospect said, “This looks great, I really like what you’ve done here” you figured that they were ready to buy, and were surprised when they said they wanted to think it over. 

Prospects make assumptions. My neighbor assumed that someone mowed their yard because the grass was really getting long, and perhaps was offended because it looked unkempt. How often do prospects make assumptions about you, and how you may go about doing business?

1. 1. They have been brainwashed by advertising that everything is about price.
   2. They believe that all insurance brokers, bankers, and investment advisors are only out there to make commissions and couldn’t possibly care about them and their needs.
   3. They figure that you are in the business of providing free information and quotes because that is what they experienced from all the other bad salespeople they’ve dealt with.
   4. They assume they can take their time because chances are you didn’t uncover any urgency by what you said and did.
   5. They think you are like all the rest because your pitch sounded like all the rest:
      • We have great service
      • Our products are industry-leading edge
      • We care about our clients
      • Our pricing is competitive

NOTE: No one in the marketplace says; our service sucks, our products are middle of the pack, our clients are secondary, or our prices are incredibly high.

So, the next time you make a call or go out on an appointment, pretend this is the first time ever that you sold to a farmer, doctor, department head, or CEO. Do your homework ahead of time about their industry so that you know the right questions to ask and understand their potential concerns but do not assume anything about what they may or may not need. Have the curiosity of a child BUT have a healthy level of skepticism as well.